Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.How Do I Tell Him?
I am about to go tell my son that his mother is dead.
He’s 14.
He knows too much about the dark side of this world already.
He’s my baby. How do I tell him? How do I break his heart? That’s not supposed to be a mother’s job. I’m supposed to protect him–not hurt him.
Will he ever forgive me? Will he ever forgive me for being the one to tell him?
My baby sister is dead, but I have had years to get used to the idea.
Him?
Nothing can prepare you for losing a parent. We’ve been honest with him as he’s gotten older, but he was afforded the optimism of youth–until today.
I couldn’t bring myself to pull him out of school when we heard the news. There is no reason to rush. I wanted him to have this one last “normal” school day. His life will be far from normal for some time I imagine.
Please let him survive this. Please let him persevere.
Please help me find the words.
February 7th, 2011 at 4:04 pm
I’m so sorry, Amy. I know your son will be ok, because he’s got you. He has always been ok because of you. I’m sure it will be a hard, hard thing for him, but by raising him, you’ve already done the thing that he needs to get through this. Wishing peace for all of you.
February 7th, 2011 at 4:08 pm
You are so strong, Amie. I know you can do this, because you have love on your side. He will feel your love and will know that with you, he can be strong too. I’ll be thinking about you in the coming days, and your son. Take Care.
Amy Kates
February 7th, 2011 at 4:14 pm
oh my sweet girl. I wish i were there to help you somehow. I am sorry and thinking about you. xo
February 7th, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Amie, my heart is breaking for you and for him. There’s no one else he’d want to hear it from – you are the stable one who has made him feel safe and loved since he was little. You’ve been his wonderful rock, his anchor.
I’m so sorry. Please let me know if there’s anything at all you need.
February 7th, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Amie, he will persevere and he will survive because he has had great parents in you and your lovely husband for the better part of his life. He will hurt and he will grieve, not only for your sister’s death, but for the (other) mom he might’ve hoped would some day show up for a family holiday — whole and intact in a way she never could be. You tell him the truth and you tell him you’re sorry and you tell him that you’re hurting, too. I’m so very sorry. You know I’m just a walk across the street away if you (or anyone else over there) needs me.
February 7th, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Amie, I am not sure how to approach it with him, but whatever you do will probably feel awkward, only because of the subject. I would take him, so that he may be by himself (since 14 year olds are private about so much stuff). Be kind. Be truthful. Answer his questions as best you can. My prayers are with you, and since Doug doesn’t believe in the prayer thing, his thoughts are with you. I love you girl, but I know the pain. Just know you have lots of love flowing your way, as does your son…
February 7th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
You just do. Then you love him enough to help him heal as much as he can – and as much as you can.
I didn’t know you then – but I’m proud to know you now. I’m so sorry for this part of the story of your lives. I hope when the page finally turns there is sunshine and peace written on it. xo
February 7th, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Oh Amie-I am so sad for you and for your sweet sweet boy-Spence still calls him his best friend from the East Coast-in fact, just saturday-he was showing his friend, Nik a photo of the 2 of them(they must have been 7 or so) looking so darn cute with sunglasses and baseball hats on. I know you will find the right words to comfort him-you have been his home, his soft landing for so long now that whatever you choose to say will be right. What a struggle your sister has had and now she can rest. Take care-sending healing vibes your way…………….
XXOO
February 7th, 2011 at 8:21 pm
Amie,
You and Greg have been there for Alan to love him and provide for him what has been needed for probably all he can remember. It will be painful for him and he may struggle, but he has you to love him and struggle with him through this. Just be open with him and let him know he’s not alone. I have faith you guys will pull through!
Love you guys much!
DeAnna
February 7th, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Amie—-I truly don’t have words other than I am praying for you, Greg,, A and the rest of your family. You did such a truly amazing thing and your son is thankful for that! Now hold him, love him and let him know that this pain will ease and that you will still be at his side and will both become stronger for having gone through it. Take care of your own grieving during this time also and please know that I am here if you need anything!
February 8th, 2011 at 10:00 am
Oh Amie! I am so sorry and please know I’m thinking about you and your family. Sending all my love!
February 8th, 2011 at 12:37 pm
I can’t imagine having to face the possibility of bearing bad news to my kids. As parents we hurt so much more when we know our kids are hurting!!
I know you and Greg will find the right words to say to help A get thru this. You have always been there for him, and he loves you for that!!
We are praying for all of you during this very sad time.
February 8th, 2011 at 4:45 pm
I missed what happened, but oh my, Amie – I am so sorry for all you are going through right now. Please fee free to call me if you need a shoulder. Love to you all.
February 8th, 2011 at 4:52 pm
I’m so glad that he has you, and you him, to lean on each other for strength right now. I’m so sorry you are in this situation. I’m so sorry that you have to bear this news. He will survive this because of you. You have taught him how.
February 8th, 2011 at 4:55 pm
He will be fine because he has you. It won’t be easy, but you’ll be there and it will suck but he will always have you.
February 8th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
I’m so sorry. You’ll do it and you’ll do the best job that can be done. Still, it’s not something anyone should ever have to do.
February 8th, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Such a shame, but you are an amazing parent to that sweet boy and you will find the words. And then you will comfort him and hold him.
My thoughts are with you.
February 8th, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Awww, jeez. I am just so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.
February 8th, 2011 at 5:06 pm
I’m sorry, Amie. Peace and strength to you and your family.
February 8th, 2011 at 5:07 pm
You are a constant for him. There will be incredible pain, but oh to have a support like you’ve given him.
Thinking of you all.
February 9th, 2011 at 1:11 pm
All our love, thoughts and prayers are with all of you. You are an amazing mom and you will help him the best way possible.
February 9th, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Oh, Amiee. I am so very very sorry. My heart is with you and your family. I am so sorry for you loss, my friend.
February 10th, 2011 at 9:41 am
You have told me and taught me that my sons will be okay. Now I tell you: your son will be okay. He will have hard times, and he will struggle, but he will always remember what you have taught him. The love you show each of your sons, and the tenderness with which you told him that day, build him stronger every day, and he will survive.
He will.
You will.
You and he will always be in my heart.
February 13th, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Just seeing this – and I am so, so sorry for all of you.
February 15th, 2011 at 4:01 pm
I’m so sorry Amie! I’m thinking of you and your family … please let us know if the NWF family can help in any way.
anne k.
February 17th, 2011 at 12:55 am
I happened upon your blog today after seeing your link on Me Ra’s page.
I am so sorry for your loss.
April 7th, 2011 at 12:06 pm
I’m not sure how I’ve ended up here, but I have and I feel like I have to say something. My situation is far from his situation, but I need you to know that there are many of us who lose a parent too young. We survive. We succeed. We go on.
September 8th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Oh lady, I am sorry. I lost my biological mom, but at age 38. Can’t imagine trying to process it at 14.