Last year, it was even worse because the A list bloggers were all there, and there was this crazy angst about getting your picture taken licking Dooce or Mir or Melissa or some other big name blogger. It was RIDICULOUS. It was like they were superstars or something.

Then when people returned the blogs were filled of bad feelings. The mommy bloggers vs the non-mommys, the mommies vs the popular mommies. It was so disheartening I vowed then that Blogher wasn’t for me. Ever.

But just this weekend I got together with a bunch of regional bloggers and it was fabulous. Not overwhelming at all. Plenty of good conversation, lots of insights from different people about blogging and about just being a part of this weird community of writers.

Maybe that’s the answer. To start small and build up a community of your own with regional bloggers, so that when you go to another convention, you’ll have your own crowd.

As an aside, something I’ve noticed, even in your comments, is that the A-list bloggers (Izzy, SJ) aren’t ever gonna get it. At least you weren’t stuck with some of the A listers from last year. Talk about enormous heads and not much talent.

I thought it was a great post and I don’t read it as a pity party at all. I read it as a just a twinge of sadness that BlogHer wasn’t the utopia some were hoping it was going to be. That the blogosphere is the democratizing classless society and that BlogHer wasn’t the empowering feminist force for which some were hoping.

People are people and out of insecurity or loneliness they will create cliques, some are intentional and enforced bitterly, while others are merely accidental and completely not malicious at all.

We don’t really outgrow this and a large event, where things are overwhelming, will tend to send us back to these roles.

I read your post as saying that because of your attendance at BlogHer, you are noticing these things in the blogging community in a way you hadn’t before.

JJK suggested some sort of interest group social mixer meetings to mix things up a little. I think the more ways you can get people to interact beyond the people they already know or know of, the closer it will come to meeting the ideal…although nothing is ever perfect.

The thing is, I never fit in, in highschool and I’m still the same way in my 20’s if I ever did begin to “fit in” then I would truly be discombobulated.

Stay true to yourself and keep writing!!!

There are cliques everwhere in life school, work, among circles of friends, the trick is finding the folks that you can be yourself with

What you just said was the equivalent of my first experience at BlogHer. i came home feeling “small”.

After my 2nd year, and recognizing some of the same faces, and deciding I would just toss my fears to the wind and engage, it was fabulous.

Of course, I went and roomed with a close friend, but still … she was the only one I really “knew”.

I do hope you decide to go again. I think that first year is a rough one.

Not sure about the highschool comparison. I didn’t really feel that way. I was too busy wondering whether or not I was sucking in my stomach (and look at 1/2 the photos – I wasn’t!). 😉

I totally get what you’re saying and I feel the same way…but then I remind myself of the good in people and it keeps me going.

At least until some bitch pisses me off and then she’s going to get cut.

But mostly I just kept my blinders on and stared straight ahead at the warm and welcoming women (like yourself) that were at BlogHer.

But I know that there must have been more of that bitchyness that I observed because I’ve read some post BlogHer dissections that slammed mommy bloggers and other “inferior” attendees. And to that I say Bite Me.

just my $.02…i think the problem is that a place like blogher is just too overwhelming (i wasn’t there…but that many people that i want to meet all in one place??? i’m overwhelmed just thinking about it!!)

i wonder how it would be if i’d gone. i consider myself a pretty small part of the mom-o-sphere (aka – not a popular blogger) and i don’t really know any bloggers in real life (except a few of the awesome canadians)…i’ll have to let you know next year!!!!

I hope you will consider MommyCon in January/February of 2008 and I hope it will be the antidote to some of the things I keep reading about over and over like gigantic crowds and packed schedules and not enough time to really get to know people.

Here’s the Yahoo group if you’re interested:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/januarymommycon/