Dear Sun,

I know you’ve been feeling kinda big, but really you don’t need to hide. I think you’re beautiful just the way you are. Don’t worry about the roundness of your ass. I know that’s not what they’re showing in all the magazines this season, but frankly, it makes me hot…and sweaty.

You have no idea how gorgeous I think you are. I could bask in your naked glory all day. I fantasize about it every night. Your rays make me tingle and feel all happy. I love when you use them to touch every part of my skin. It feels so warm and so goooood.

So please! Take off the clouds. Turn on the lights. I want to experience all of you.

Who cares what all those stars are saying. They’re just burnouts anyway.

Love,
Mamma

Rolling Stone called and wanted an exclusive with a nerd girl super-cool blogger. I told them I was sorry, but they’d have to get in line behind the two cracked journalists who had already submitted their requests (oh, okay! They offered to throw me some questions and jumped all over the chance).

First from Wonder Mom.

1. New Orleans makes me feel:
Happy. At home. Warm. Creative. Carefree. There is just something about having lived there. It became part of who I am. I wish I could lay more claim to the city than just four short years, but I’ll take those. It is by far my favorite city in the country. The greatest thing about New Orleans is that it’s warts and scars are part of its charm. I guess I’m just a sucker for character.

2. What’s the most boring day you have ever had?
Oh what I wouldn’t give for a boring day! It’s so hard to think back far enough to find one. You know there isn’t one that immediately comes to mind, but if I were to guess, I’d say it probably involved a family road trip when I was a kid stuck in the back seat with my sister. I’m sure she spent the entire trip “on my side.”

3. What is your favorite keepsake from motherhood?
I’d say it has to be the photographs. The boys are all growing so quickly that I’m shocked when I look back at pictures from just last year and notice how much they’ve changed. I love capturing their smiles, their funny faces, their fashion statements.

4. Do you still want to be a rock star?
Definitely!! You have no idea how cool I think it would be to rock out on stage, belting out amazing tunes. Of course, I’d be stick skinny and probably dress like Joan Jett. I’d want to kick-ass but have a soft side too. Unfortunately, there’s a better chance of me winning the Pulitzer Prize for blogging (and you’ve read my blog) than there is of me developing the ability to carry a tune.

So instead I don my iPod and pretend when I’m all alone.

5. I saw you posted this is June..update it. Mamma loves…
This all goes back to the origin of my blog’s name. I have this fantasy of opening my own shoe boutique. I want to call it Mamma Loves Shoes (because I do indeed LOVE shoes). Since that didn’t look like it was going to happen in the near future, I adapted the title for my blog. The idea was that I would talk about things I loved and things I didn’t. I couldn’t stick to the format but the name was already there.

Today Mamma Loves…

All of her guys
Her family
P-Funky
The book club girls
Friends in low places
Her bloggy friends
Danger Doll (for the free advice that even a ludite like me could use to pretty up the joint)
Her adopted twin nieces (and their mamma of course)
The Latvian Princess

(and in no particular order)
A day at the spa
Mojitos
Shoes
Good music
The sound of her guys’ laughter
Warm sunshine
Long, passionate kisses
Her garden
Shoes
End-of-the-year bonuses
Massages
Comments (yes I’m a whore for a good comment–so leave one dammit)
A great bag (a girl can dream)
The beach
Diet Coke
Shoes
Helicopter rides
Hawaii
The perfect color lipstick
Laughing
Shoes

And from Mrs. Chicky

1. How old were you when you got your first kiss? What were thecircumstances?
With tongue? That would be sixth grade—which is horrifying since my oldest is finishing up fifth grade now. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was standing at the corner of the school building on my way to my bus and my “boyfriend” Chris told me he wanted me to walk the long way with him and when he was sure no one was looking he laid one on me. I think I was shocked. I may have kissed him back, but I’m sure it couldn’t have been for more than a few seconds and then I ran for my bus blushing like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve definitely refined my skills since then.

2. If you could pick to go anywhere, where is the perfect vacationdestination?
A sparsely populated Caribbean beach with my own cabana boy to bring me frozen fruity drinks, adjust my umbrella, ensure the proper coverage of suntan lotion and fan me as necessary.

3. Did you play sports in high school? If yes, which one(s)? If no, why?
Ah yes, I was a tennis player. I wasn’t very good at sticking to a practice schedule, but it was fun. I wish I still played as much as I did. I’ve been thinking about getting back into it.

4. Favorite movie couple: Hepburn and Tracy or Jolie and Pitt?
No contest. Hepburn and Tracy hands down. Katharine Hepburn is one of my idols. What an incredible woman.

5. What is your favorite article of clothing that you own?
Now you’d think it would be a pair of shoes, but right now I’m not in love with any particular pair I own. I’d have to say it’s my denim jacket. It seems to go with almost anything. I’ve worn a denim jacket in one form or another since middle school—not the same one, don’t worry. I think it sort of sums up my personality. I used to be a tomboy as a kid but I’m definitely became more girly in high school—not too girlie though. I’ll wear a skirt and flats and then throw on my denim jacket to head out. I don’t know. I guess it makes me feel like I can be dressed up but I still don’t have to take life too seriously.

I’d like to thank my two gracious interviewers for their terrific questions. Should you like a reason to tell Rolling Stone “NO,” just give me a shout and I’ll send some questions your way.

I can’t believe prom is already just a memory.

Duuuuuuuuude! We had a killer time last night. You should have been there.

We had a well-stocked fridge.

The wine coolers! The Asti!! AND Michelobe Lite. The guys really got the good stuff for us.

We SO know how to party.

Don’t we just make the cutest couple? I just know we’re going to be together forEVAH. (try it was over six weeks later)

So tomorrow is the big night! I’m so excited I’m ready to pee my pants. Wonder Mom and Stinkfoot have already promised me a dance.

I was going to get a pedicure. I was going to get my hair done. BUT THIS IS A BLOG PROM! No primping necessary!!! I’d be lying of course if I said I hadn’t done anything to prepare. For you my darling dates, I’ve been searching high and low for photos…photos I tell ya.

First a bit about my senior high school prom eve. Frankly, the details are a bit hazy. I do remember this. The dress was hung up on the back of the door just so it would “be ready.” Now what it accomplished while it was hanging there, I have no clue.

I didn’t visit the tanning bed as some of my sister Floridians decided to do. I was more of an “au naturel” kind of girl–though you won’t believe that when you see the pictures tomorrow.

Anyway, to provide you with a bit of context, I thought I’d treat you to some other photographic evidence of my stint in high school.

First I need to admit that, yes, I was the senior class president. In my defense…crap I have no defense. Let’s just say that I’ve learned my lesson since and I try my best to resist leadership positions at all costs. Who needs the headache? I already have three children.

So here I am on a “normal” high school day.

Note my early tendency to foresake primping for extra sleep. Hair in a ponytail and a t-shirt. Yep, that was me. Those metallic flats?! I saw some just like those at DSW this week. I guess we’re on a 19 year fashion cycle.

There were other dances, of course, before my senior prom.

There was prom my freshman year:

Check out that hoop skirt!! I could have fit another date under there. I have to say though it was very cool. Lots of space to kick around. The date was by far the funniest and smartest of all my dance dates to follow. At the time, I wasn’t smart enough to realize how much I should have prized those qualities. [shaking head with memories of very cute, very stupid boys]

Sophomore year I had a boyfriend who was my year, so no prom for me. We did attend a semi-formal however.

Wasn’t that cool the way I got my eyeshadow to match my dress?

I attended the prom that year with my best friend who was a senior. Oh how I LURVED him my freshman year. I kept telling him he had to take someone he could get busy with, but for some reason he insisted I was to be the date. We had an totally awesome time fer shure.

No that’s not your screen. My face is a different color than the rest of my body. Where was my mother when I was doing that? For christ sakes woman! How could you let me go out of the house with THAT much powder on my face?! Oh and please note the awesome red sunglasses!

He got so wasted that night he decided I was THE one he was going to get busy with. The great friend that I am I laughed in his face, told him he was drunk and suggested he pass out on the other side of the bed. He didn’t remember a bit of it the next morning. THANK GOODNESS!

So that’s it. I’m all ready for our big night tomorrow. Please don’t forget to visit with the other guests. I know they are all scurrying like mad to get their photos scanned.