Lovely comments abound from men of a certain age (older than 35?) admitting that they like their women with a little meat on them. What sweet, sweet music to my ears.

You see I have no aspirations of being rail thin. I’d be happy for “in shape.” Pursuing heroin chic for me would be like searching for the end of a rainbow. I was blessed with curves, that for once in my life, I actually don’t want to lose completely. I’m happy to look like a woman. Though yet another cruel joke of nature is that some of those “curves” tend to be the first things to disappear when I do lose weight. And that’s sad, because I’ve loved reading those Ds on the bra tags for the first time in my life.

Anyway, I had a good week. Ate healthy. Stuck to my plan. No snacks. No sugar.

I’ll be hopping of the wagon for a brief time at the end of next week, because no one can really expect me to go to New Orleans and not enjoy the best part about the city–THE INCREDIBLE FOOD.

Did I mention I’m going to New Orleans next week?! I’m going to New Orleans next weekend for a long weekend!

I am so excited! Went to school there. Haven’t been back for years. This will be the first trip there together for me and Shakey. The first time we’ve gone away alone with each other in seven (yes, I said SEVEN) years. Cue Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On.” Oh yeah, and there will be basketball–first and second round of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.

New Orleans, basketball, food and sex…don’t hate me!

Two items today.

1. From the Washington City Paper classifieds this week. Eating Disorder Support Group: Meets from 1:00-2:00 p.m. in the Holy Cross Hospital dining room. Um?
2. An MFOM (Male Friend of Mamma) in New Orleans reported this week of having lunch in the same restaurant as Angelina Jolie. When questioned about her beauty his response was, “Her face is gorgeous, but she is so so thin that her body looks disgusting.” I almost crawled through the phone to mount him right then and there.

I wouldn’t say that I write for a living, but my job does entail quite a bit of writing. I sort of took this job as a personal challenge because I was always so afraid to write for others. You might find this ironic considering you’re reading my blog right now (are you? are there actually still readers?) Anyway, I don’t consider what I write here real writing because it’s usually just what comes flowing out of my brain when I sit down in front of my computer. But whatever…this is all just a really long-winded way to bring up the topic occupying my thoughts this evening.

Writing.

Is there one consulting firm (or industry of writers) who specialize in writing directions and packaging copy for sex-related items? Or does each company hire their own copywriter? This inquiring mind wants to know.

I mean, can you imagine being at a cocktail party and asking someone what they do with their day and they say, “oh I write the instruction inserts for condoms.” Pardon me while I pull this lull out of my pocket.

This IS someone’s job! I love that!

How do you think they got into it? Do you think they rose up through the corporate ranks at the vibrator factory or were they hired on specifically for their writing skills? Do they giggle when they sit down with a new product or are they so tired of looking at blow-up dolls that they think they might curl up in a ball at the sight of one more? Do you think there are writers who specialize in one variety of “toy” over another? Is there a hierarchy of what products they write for? “I used to write for latex, but I only do leather now.”

Speaking of which, you know the US Patent and Trade Office has to review everyone of these products if they apply for a patent. I actually think I’ve heard that there is one division that specializes in this area. Again with the conversation.

Mr. Smith: “How was work honey?”
Mrs. Smith: “Well, I reviewed this new dildo today. It’s ten inches long and is made of the most realistic new polycarbon material. And it will be available with or without the most realistic feeling pubic hair I’ve ever seen.”
Mr. Smith: “That’s nice dear.”

I have GOT to meet someone who has one of these jobs. I have so many questions!

Honestly! Are your egos really that fragile?

You don’t see women bragging about buying the “thinnest” tampons out there.