Day 18
Mood: Bittersweet happiness

Had to post today.

Day 15

Day 14
Mood: Nervous/Excited

So many thoughts running through my head tonight my darlings…

Leaving in the a.m. for sunny FL where the temperatures are expected to be in the mid-70’s. Color mamma (the summer lover–had me a blast) happy!

Camels are making themselves known in my life this week. First was this little helpful tidbit from WikiHow that appeared on my homepage, which piqued my interest since it was a bit out of line with the How to Stencil Fabric and How to Save a Wet Cell Phone it was grouped with. But, you never know when this kind of advice will come in handy.

Next, I came across camels over at Kevin Charnas, who if you haven’t checked out you should because he’s damn funny. Okay, so maybe they weren’t camels, but cameltoes? So close.

Must publish…time is running out. Be right back.

Day 9

Day Three
Mood: Harried

Need to make sure I post something. Going to meet PFunky who’s in town for the weekend and not sure I’ll be back by midnight (hee hee midnight). Promise I’ll have more to add later. Just wanted to make it official.

The topic on my mind…friends.

I have been trying to blog for days
Thinking of funny things I might say
But my mind is in a fog
With no ideas for me to blog

I could write about my kids
Funny things today that they did
But my words must be lost in a bog
‘Cause I cannot create this blog

So instead of writing something I might regret
And since nothing funny has come to my head yet
I will sit here like a bump on a log
And post this poem as my blog…

Hubby actually came up with his own blog name, which will make it more difficult for him to complain about it later. He’s selected Shakey. This is actually a moniker he picked up in college. Of course, when we started dating I became Mrs. Shakey to his friends…Frau Shakey. No one really shared the origin of the name until “Ger” came home for a visit.

Yeah, you SHOULD be thinking…Ger? What can I guy with a name like that be like? Well, apparently I met him after he reformed a bit, but he’s very much the bull in the china shop who has studied so much latin that he can kick your ass at Scrabble when he’s so drunk he doesn’t know his own name.

So Ger was home for a visit and found out I didn’t know the origin of “Shakey.” He was so excited that he was going to be the one to get to tell me the story. The problem was that he was enjoying the story in his own head so much that he couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get it out. He would get a few sentences into it and then fall back into this hysterical cackle and have to wipe the tears from his eyes. I was laughing so hard just watching him that when the entire story came out the it was like opening the most beautiful package on Christmas morning and finding underwear inside.

Everyone, this is PFunky. PFunky, this is everyone.

I’m a terrible host for making introductions after you’ve already joined us. What would Amy Vanderbilt say?!

PFunky is mamma’s best friend…has been for more than a decade. We went to college together, we took on DC together, we’ve supported each other through misguided love, her years of lawschool, marriage and kids. PFunky is my sister in my heart. And she might be the most entertaining person I’ve ever met.

Now I know she’ll be upset that I’m setting her up like this. But I know she won’t disappoint.

Oh! Did I mention that she loves 80’s music as much as I do? We’re a force to be reckoned with in the game Songburst.

Join me in welcoming PFunky to the Mamma Loves…family. I’m sure she’ll keep us ROFL.

Here is my life-long fantasy…it has nothing to do with another man, more money or finding god, I have always wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer. You remember the show from the 80s, “Solid Gold”. I remember when the Solid gold dancers would perform the “Top Ten” songs in some sort of interpretive dance that doubled as G-Rated pole dancing…sometimes they would dance with partners, the black woman with the long braided hair ALWAYS got solo dances. Man, was she goooood! They could make any 80s song, from “Endless Love” to “Superfreak” into the most expressive dancing I’ve ever seen. Okay, I’m kidding. It was the absolute CHEASIEST thing on tv at the time…or was that Great American Hero? I digress. I have spent my life emulating those solid gold dances for friends and family.

I can be anywhere and hear a good song and want to break out into dance. In my head, I have the most awesome dance moves…standing on the seat of a chair and walking down the back of it onto the floor (done that in reality), writhed on the floor and crawled towards my husband (he used to get embarrassed when I would do that in front of our friends, but now he just has another beer and lets me perform). I tried swinging around a streetlamp in New Orleans a few years ago, but that feat was kind of hard and I ended up getting bruises on my inner arm (war wounds). I can hear a Def Leppard song and want to do that in the middle of the gym at the JCC…but I think people would just think I was off my rocker. Aren’t I???

I keep thinking in my head, “I have got to make a dance video for stay-at-home moms (like myself) so they could crack up as much as I do when I start dancing and also get into shape. I think about turning up the radio and dancing like a fool. Right now Beyonce is singing “Crazy in Love” on my ipod…who doesn’t want to shake every body part to this song and walk up and down the hallway like a runway model??? That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Would anyone watch a video of a woman making a fool of herself and do the same thing in her own home??? I dunno, but if I could do some solid gold dancing moves and help some woman stuck in the house all the time to lose her post-partum weight, I would do it!

Okay, this is my first time trying to blog. I just wish I could use this computer to find a picture of Solid Gold dancers so you knew what I was talking about. I gotta go dance to this music and shed a few pounds myself!

Oh, to be in my 20s again dancing at dance clubs until the sweat was dripping off my big white schruncy socks and too short shorts and my awful magenta lipstick that my friends finally made me give up for neutral tones…I guess I won’t be able to show off my smooth moves at my children’s bar and bat mitzvah…but shouldn’t they know the real me????

And why can’t I find anyone in the ‘burbs who wants to dance like a fool and not care what anyone else thought of them? Why does everyone seem so caught up about what people think about them? Why can’t someone just put on Def Leppard’s “Animal” (ipod song right now) and freakin’ rock it out??? I have GOT to start a class or make a video for people called, “Get Loose” or maybe “Foot Loose” (yeah, that one wouldn’t work) and do something with this talent? Well, I hope Mamma Loves would agree that it is some weird talent and not a curse I have to bear the rest of my life…

Today I got to play with a powerwasher. Let me just say that if I could use a powerwasher to clean the inside of my house I would be goddamn Martha Stewart.

What immediate gratification! What a sense of accomplishment! And all with just the squeeze of the trigger!

I seriously put thought into the kind of flooring and plumbing I could install in my house to be able to use this tool from God. I’m thinking some central drains, a terrazzo floor and all my furniture made of poured concrete. Ahhhh. Makes me kind of think of the bar I hung out in in college–well except for the terrazo and the concrete furniture. Okay, so it really was just the drain in the center of the floor. But now I’m wondering why the cleaning crew even bothered with anything but the powerwasher.

The powerwasher–I bet it could even get my boys clean.

I’ll never have a dirty driveway again.