Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.A Mom or a Therapist’s Wet Dream?

November 21st, 2006 — 9:18pm
Share

Day 21
Mood: Hitting the homestretch

Some days I worry that I’m not cut out to be a good mother. That’s quite unfortunate since I have three small children. Now don’t get me wrong…I LOVE my kids. They do mean more to me than anything else. But some days I just can’t channel that Julie Aigner-Clark perma-smile everlasting patience for my liebchens. Does this make me a bad mom?

When I’m willing to have my 10 year-old read stories to his little brothers because my headache just won’t go away…does that make me a bad mother?

At what point do you have to seriously question whether or not you’re just setting them up for years of therapy?

There are so many messages out there about how to be a good mom. So many items on the checklist…always a new standard.

  • Nurse them for the first 12 months…but the longer you go the better (even if you don’t get any sleep for a year as a result).
  • Don’t work, don’t let anyone else be their primary care-giver (even if they do become bilingual through their day care experience).
  • No TV (even though are whole world is moving toward a multi-media mode of communication).
  • No sugar, no fats, everything organic (cause it’s too late for us twinkie-eating, soda swilling parents).
  • Public school v. private school (you haven’t started worrying about preschool yet?!)
  • Never ride anything without a helmet or at least seventeen protective straps (because that reinforced big wheel with the parent handle that you never release may tip over).
  • A bath every night, right after an early balanced meal and then fourteen bedtime stories all before 7:30 because routines are great (even if you don’t get home until 6:30)

If you’re reading this list and saying I can’t believe she’s complaining about any one of these things, please DO NOT leave a comment. Instead, relax have another kid or two and realize that it is not possible to follow ALL of the rules.

PLEASE leave a comment if you’ve felt at all frustrated as a mother. I NEED to hear from you. I tend towards the dramatic and often jump to awful conclusions about myself (cause who else is going to look down on you if you don’t look down on yourself?). Tonight I’m wondering if my children would be better off without me.

Do you think I might be tired?

3 comments » |Posted under

Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.A Question For You

November 20th, 2006 — 8:37pm
Share

Day 20
Mood: Ready for bed

So there is some drawback to people you know in your everyday life reading your blog. There are topics I’d like to open up for discussion that I’m not sure will send the right message to those who know me. I am weighing the pros and cons of introducing these topics because I think they will provide for a lively discussion, and I’m hoping to hear other perspectives on them. But I don’t want to unnecessarily worry anyone or start any tongues wagging.

Are you a blogger? Have you felt this same dilemma? I’ve considered starting another completely anonymous blog to have a place to say whatever I wanted, but keeping up two blogs seems like a bit of an undertaking right now. Who knows.

Are there things you don’t discuss on your blog? Are there certain parts of your life that are off limits? Do you ever feel like your blog doesn’t reflect the whole of you because of this? Does that feel false? Is a blog supposed to be a place where you can say anything?
What do you think?

2 comments » |Posted under

Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.The Death of Merit Badge Day?

November 19th, 2006 — 9:29pm
Share

Day 19
Mood: ?

Don’t know what my mood is today. I sat here and contemplated it for a bit and then realized, hey it’s my freakin’ blog and if I don’t know what my mood is well then I don’t have to tell you what it is.
Upon second thought it should probably be “pissy.”

As a matter of fact, I’ve noticed the same mood among some of my other fellow NaBloPoMo colleagues. Is it that the “forced” daily posting is starting to wear thin? Would I feel the same way if it weren’t NaBloPoMo? I’ve actually enjoyed the structure of the daily post, though at some times it’s been a race against the clock to get it in on time. I get most of my quiet time in the evening so it’s often difficult to get it in before midnight. I’m hoping the powers that be will let a 12:00 a.m. post slide.

Okay, back to Merit Badge Day…

As some of you more faithful readers (all two of you) will remember Sunday is Merit Badge Day here at Mamma Loves. Now I don’t know if folks are too busy shopping for their turkeys or just feeling pretty damn good about themselves this week, but we had NOT ONE nomination this week. After three weeks of enthusiastic responses…nothing. Now I’m a fairly optimistic person (despite that my mother’s nickname for me growing up was Eeyore) so I’m not ready to declare Merit Badge Day dead, but I’m going to need some nominations this week to stay hopeful.

My badge the week:

I awarded myself a badge for having the courage to admit to my husband (a big country music fan) that I liked a country band. Yes, Sugarland. I’m loving their stuff! You must understand, as a native New Englander I’ve always had a certain predjudice against country music. Four years in New Orleans only softened it enough to open up musicians like Lyle Lovett who I consider borderline. A few year’s of Shakey’s influence did wear me down to accept my full-fledged love of Garth Brooks–it was actually watching his concert in Central Park while I was recording it for him while he was at school that changed my mind. But going out and buying a country album without some sort of prodding or nagging exposure? It’s nothing short of a miracle! And I’ve listened to the newest album probably five times in the last 24 hours. There are also a number of good songs off of their debut album. Check ’em out. See what you think.

Please make Mamma happy. Tell me what award you earned this week. I’ll be waiting…

2 comments » |Posted under

Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.Quiet

November 18th, 2006 — 11:01pm
Share

Day 18 Still!

Mood: Very Bittersweet
The conference is over. I’m at my parents’ house–they are getting ready to move. They are moving near me, which is terrific, but they are leaving the town I went to high school in. And now I haven’t been back here much over the years, and I don’t have a lot in common with many of the people I was friendly with in high school so I don’t keep in touch with that many folks, but I’m feeling sad that I won’t be able to come back here to a home. I drove around today, had lunch at a great hamburger joint–whose burgers are just as great as they were 20 years ago–drove by my old house and walked around downtown.

I also visited my grandmother in the nursing home today. That is probably adding to my melancholy. She has alzheimer’s and needs round the clock monitoring–a little hitchhiking trip some years back was the signal that she needed more care. She knew who I was. She told me I was beautiful and said I looked a little spoiled (I think she meant chubby). She was happy to see me and I have to say I was so happy to see her. She doesn’t remember that I’m married, that I have any children and that she didn’t see me yesterday. It’s so sad that she needs to be this nursing home, but at the same time she seems to be comfortable in her routine. It’s not much of a life, she doesn’t live in a very large world–but I hope it makes her feel safe. I pray that I keep my wits about me as I age.

Of course I just topped my night off with a trip to the movies to see Babel (yes kids a movie that wasn’t animated! and at first I typed “an adult movie” but in rereading that didn’t come across the way I meant it–though it would have been funny if that’s what you thought). It was interesting. I’m not sure I got it–I think it’s about love. But it certainly wasn’t an uplifting movie.

Tomorrow I get on a plane and go back to my life as wife, mother, employee, suburban mom. This past 24 hours by myself has been good for me–a chance to be alone with my thoughts. Time really slowed down–except for the time this afternoon that I didn’t want to move slowly–and I feel like I’ve heard my own voice a bit. It’s amazing what you can hear when things are quiet.

And for the record, even though this post is officially on Sunday, I’m counting this as my Saturday post for you NaBloPoMo watchers because I haven’t gone to bed yet.

1 comment » |Posted under

November 18th, 2006 — 11:00pm
Share

Day 18
Mood: Bittersweet happiness

Had to post today.

Comments Off on |Posted under

Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.Is Your Banana Safe?

November 17th, 2006 — 9:45pm
Share

Day 17

Mood: Happy

Today was a great day!!

Here’s a little nugget I found on the web that I hope will make your day just a little brighter.

And it actually seems to be for real.

Watch tomorrow for yet another great shopping find.

Don’t forget Merit Badge Day coming up this Sunday. Go ahead…tell us what award you earned this week.

1 comment » |Posted under

Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.If Your Name is Ryan and You Work on Capitol Hill, Don’t Read the Second Paragraph

November 16th, 2006 — 9:49pm
Share

Day 16
Mood: RELAXED

This whole conference in Palm Beach thing is so wonderful. A half day of meetings, a little shopping and pina coladas by the beach. I know, sorry to brag, but I got to tell you this twice a day maid service…a girl could get used to that. I came back last night and all of my belongings were organized! My shoes were lined up in the closet! My toiletries all lined up on a little towel. I think I’m in heaven!

RS–Stop reading now…

So my most recent murphy’s law experience…

Don’t know if you’ve had this experience yet, but can we talk? Grey hair? Down there?

Well when you go in for a bikini wax how is it possible that they clear that much real estate but MISS the one grey hair? THIS is my life.

2 comments » |Posted under

Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.Who Are These People?

November 15th, 2006 — 9:57pm
Share

Day 15

Mood: Exhausted!
Okay working on an hour and half of sleep so this will be short.

I had dinner tonight with a commissioner of an independent federal agency. Let me just say that it’s a good thing that he’s not in charge of our national security. You know you get a certain image in your head of what big wig should be like. This man is such a geek. And I don’t mean that in I love my fiber optic connection at home, but as in he introduces himself to everyone in the room because he doesn’t know what else to say. The conversation I witnessed could have been held by two 20 year old guys. Not the Chairman of a federal agency. I mean I’m sure he’s a very nice guy. But it was almost like they were reciting lines from their favorite TV show in an overly excited way. Oh the DC crowd is so scary!!!

1 comment » |Posted under

Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.Smile! You’re On A Business Trip

November 14th, 2006 — 11:00pm
Share

Day 14 (con’t because I haven’t gone to sleep yet)
Mood: Relieved

Okay, I’m back. Phew! This whole getting the post done each day can really stress a girl out.
So where was I?

Oh yeah, camels. Funny creatures. And they seem to be popping up out of nowhere this week. At this point, I think I would be completely unfazed to see one cross my path as I exited the plane tomorrow.

Did I mention I was going to Florida? Staying at this swanky place… Now before you go getting all jealous, it’s for work. Which means I need to arrive at the airport tomorrow morning before 7:00 a.m. (NOT Mamma’s favorite time of the day) where I will need to paint on a perma-smile as a number of my clients are taking the same flight I am. Said perma-smile will need to remain in place through Friday afternoon with only short breaks to be had when I return to my room to sleep or change for the next event. Now if I put on some dark shades and my iPod around the pool one afternoon I may be able to pretend like I’m there for vacation for at least an hour.

While I’m excited to be able to check out such a nice place, it’s bittersweet when you do these things without the people you care about. How much more fun would it be to have my guys tearing ass around the grounds uprooting sod from the Championship golf course? Yeah…okay so it might be nice to get away. But am I the only Mamma who fantasizes about trips and then when they actually get here begins to panic because:

a. What if there is a plane crash and my children have to grow up without a mother?
b. If the plane does crash, Mr. 2 won’t remember me so whomever Shakey remarries will become his “mom.”
c. I won’t be able to kiss all my boys goodnight or hold them in my arms for five days.
d. Maybe they’ll all decide it’s much more fun without me around and I’ll return to an empty house.
e. Did I mention the plane crash thing?

I used to love to fly. I’m not actually afraid of flying it’s just that I found out I was pregnant for the first time right before 9/11/01. The confluence of those events have made me just a tad more sensitive to the fact that the plane I’m boarding may just be blown out of the sky. And well, that just bums me out.

So I’m excited to sleep in a king-sized bed all by myself. I’m excited for warm weather. I’m not excited about the potential of a plane crash or for having to wear a perma-smile for three days. Looks like a draw.

The thing pushing the trip over to the plus category is that I’m ending my trip with a detour over to the west coast of the state to visit my home town for what will probably be the last time for a long while. I’ll get to see my parents, drive by some of the old haunts and maybe visit with a few old friends.

Now if I could just lose 30lbs by tomorrow morning, I’d be all set.

3 comments » |Posted under

Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.You Got a Camel?

November 14th, 2006 — 10:51pm
Share

Day 14
Mood: Nervous/Excited

So many thoughts running through my head tonight my darlings…

Leaving in the a.m. for sunny FL where the temperatures are expected to be in the mid-70’s. Color mamma (the summer lover–had me a blast) happy!

Camels are making themselves known in my life this week. First was this little helpful tidbit from WikiHow that appeared on my homepage, which piqued my interest since it was a bit out of line with the How to Stencil Fabric and How to Save a Wet Cell Phone it was grouped with. But, you never know when this kind of advice will come in handy.

Next, I came across camels over at Kevin Charnas, who if you haven’t checked out you should because he’s damn funny. Okay, so maybe they weren’t camels, but cameltoes? So close.

Must publish…time is running out. Be right back.

Comments Off on You Got a Camel? |Posted under

« Previous Entries     Next Entries »

↑ Back to top