Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.How He Became Our Son, Part I
We had been married for nine months when we got the call.
We were going to have a kid–a three and a half year-old kid!
Wha?!
Parental responsibilities were to begin in forty-eight hours!
Holy shit on a cracker! In forty-eight hours?! What do I need? What do they eat? Where will he sleep? What does he do when we go to work? What about when we’re at happy hour?
There had been those three days a month after our honeymoon when I thought I might be pregnant, but it was a false alarm. Even then, I would have had nine months to prepare for the arrival. But this? We weren’t getting much notice.
Then I found out why.
Life with my sister has never been what you’d describe as predictable–life with a drug addict rarely is. I’d lived through screaming matches, visiting hours at rehab, sketchy friends, suicide attempts, rehab, dropping out of school, “your sister has run away,” “well, I’m going to live with Dad,” parents kicking her out, rehab, wrecked cars, the MS diagnosis, arrests for posession, rehab and then finally “I’m pregnant, can’t work, not married, but I’m keeping the baby anyway.”
Seriously, mom’s Christmas cards were always the first ones opened I’m sure.
I was fully prepared to step in if the MS ever got too bad for her to care for my nephew. This had been made clear to the husband when he was still just the boyfriend. Luckily her disease had progressed slowly and my nephew’s birth didn’t cause her any loss of mobility (as we were warned it might). The possibility of taking on his care seemed a long way off.
But of course there I was on the phone getting the “your sister’s in jail and you need to come get him now” call.
I know, hindsight is 20/20. I should have seen it coming, right? As stupid as it sounds though, I just didn’t.
March 24th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Oh sweet girl. What a great post. Do we ever see the really good stuff coming? 😉
March 24th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Wow. This blew me away. Waiting eagerly for the next installment.
March 24th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Talk about a clifhanger.
That sounds like a very sweet, and heartbreaking story all at the same time.
March 24th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
yr so good…I am sitting here thinking about how massive of a moment that must have been for you
xo
March 24th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
How is it I had NO idea about this?? Wow!!
March 24th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
You are my hero.
March 24th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
You and your husband, angels just spending some time on Earth =)
I look forward to part 2
March 24th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
And you are an amazing woman (and have an amazing husband) to step in an care for and love him. The hugest gift you could ever give.
xoxo
March 24th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I can’t wait to hear the next part of this story.
To be able to drop everything and take a three year old into your lives at a moments notice is simply amazing. You are a very strong woman.
March 24th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Yes well, if you ever want to adopt me too, I’m available. You’re an awesome mom.
And that sister of yours? She’s living something like twelve TLC Movie of The Weeks all at the same time.
March 24th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Wow. you rock.
And email me.
aimee at greeblemonkey dot com
March 24th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
You love me for scooters. I love you for this.
Who wins?
You.
Amazing…
March 24th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
This just made me burst into tears.
I just adore you.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I knew just a bit from things you’ve said: that he came to you quickly, with almost no notice.
I know a bit more from how you talk that you figured it all out well.
So glad you are telling this.
March 25th, 2008 at 5:25 am
Girl, this is why I read you. A simple yet riveting post (as always).
Waiting to hear more.
Yours forever
Bon Jovi man.
March 25th, 2008 at 7:10 am
Holy moly! You can’t just leave us hanging; that was FAR too intense for a part one!!
March 25th, 2008 at 7:46 am
The way I see it even if you have 9 months to prepare kids are still a shock to the system. And no matter how long you have them you are still learning.
That boy is so lucky to have an mom/aunt like you. And we are so lucky to have people like you to step in and take care of those that get left behind.
March 25th, 2008 at 10:51 am
This is such an interesting story. I’m looking forward to reading more about it. I can’t imagine how it would be to start parenting with a three year old. Amazing!
March 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Wow.
What a way to start a marriage. On your side I see it as a no brainer (he’s your nephew, it’s simple, not easy but simple) but your husband.
He’s truly remarkable. I’m not surprised you have one of the great ones.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Wow. When I first started reading this post I was wondering why you’d applied for adoption so early in your marriage. I didn’t know he was your nephew! You are an amazing person. Can’t wait to read the next part.
March 25th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Mine was: Your sister killed herself. After months of addiction, and three children, 10 years living her life out of rehab and motel rooms she finally quit. Thankfully my Mother, gods bless her had the courage and strength to take two of the kids early on and give them a stable home. The third, my niece with SB, lives with the other Grandmother. My hubby and I are on both women’s wills to step in the event anything happens to them. We’re also weekend warriors with the babies. Life is hard when you’re picking up a lot of pieces. But it’s rewarding. Bless you baby….karma (and love) will come back around your way, trust me on this one.
Many hugs and kisses for you and your family!!!
March 25th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
You’re a good soldier, Ml… your husband is, too… but then, I’ve always known that about you.
March 25th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Wow! good for you for steping up to the plate!
March 25th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
What a great story you are telling! I can’t wait for the next post!
Then again, I can’t wait for my phone to ring and someone telling me that I have a kid to call my own!!
March 25th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
He is lucky you were baby-mamma’s sister! Not all aunts would have done what you did. Nor many married-to-the-family uncles.
Thanks for sharing.
March 26th, 2008 at 6:14 am
A sad but wonderful story – looking forward to Part II.
March 26th, 2008 at 6:32 am
Oh wow. I never knew. I can’t imagine going from 0-3 in 10 seconds flat.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:23 am
I’m so glad you wrote this. I was actually going to ask, but… you know… I didn’t want to be nosey.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:30 am
This speaks such volumes of the depth of the love you have for your sister. You and your husband are absolute heroes.
Jane, Pinks & Blues
March 26th, 2008 at 11:43 am
First off, awesome and amazing story.
Second, and please excuse me for being Mr. Obvious here (but you did ask), the reason you “didn’t see this coming” is because you are a genuinely good person, and as such, you see (or try to see) the good in others, so while predicting the outcome would not have been any real surprise, I surmise you hoped and (at least tried) to believe that your sister would do right by this child. Unfortunately reality won out, but fortunately you were there.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Wow. Just…wow.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Also waiting eagerly…
Wow.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Wonderful post.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Wow Mama. I’m so glad he had you!
March 26th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more awesome…
March 27th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
You’re amazing.
March 28th, 2008 at 6:01 am
There was a time when we thought we were going to have to take our nephew as well. My lovely SIL couldn’t seem to stop getting OCS called on her. LOVELY!
What a blessing that you could be there to help him…..makes me love you even more! (IF that’s possible!)
March 30th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Best of luck to you!
April 1st, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Some of the most wonderful things happen to us when we aren’t planning on them. Good for you for letting it happen.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Oh boy. Did you ever guess how lucky you’d feel?
April 7th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Holy sweet Jebus. You must have the heart of an angel. Going to read part II…
April 21st, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I’m so glad you are telling this story!
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Okay, I sort of love you. Just a little.
September 12th, 2008 at 6:31 am
Oh.my.God.
February 7th, 2011 at 4:02 pm
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