Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.She Disappeared
She was the temporarily single mom of theree boys. Not all of them were in school, yet none of them napped any longer. And it was a holiday weekend.
As she stepped into the shower on Tuesday, she couldn’t recall if she had managed to squeeze one in since her amazingly wonderul saint of a husband (because he eventually returned) had left in the dawning light of Friday morning.
She was gross.
She could remember haircuts for all the boys, a trip to Sephora with all the boys (stupid, stupid woman), baseball games, baseball practices, trips to the grocery store, hours at the pool and cleaning, but she couldn’t remember a shower.
It must not have occured (gross).
When she massaged the shampoo into her hair no suds formed. “Yeah, that’s dirty,” she thought. Another glob of shampoo and the thoughts too soon washed away as she enjoyed the warm water.
And the quiet.
And being alone.
And being clean.
CRASH! The bathroom door slams open. “Hi Mom!” Well that seven minutes of silence is over.
As she toweled off she considered the options for greeting her husband upon his return that evening. She narrowed it down to two.
1. Immediately drop to her knees and give him the best blow job of gratitude she could muster.
or
2. Greet him with a big hug and a kiss and never let on that he really could do ANYTHING as long as he never permanently left her by herself with three young boys.
She figured #2 was the smarter option, since she’d needed to maintain some leverage. But he did get some play the next morning.
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I bend to my knees in pious admiration to all of you single parents, though I won’t be including oral sex with it.
Sorry.
June 1st, 2007 at 7:18 am
Ha. Blowjobs are never an option…Unless those cute new shoes you want are on sale…tee hee
June 1st, 2007 at 9:08 am
I’m such a selfish wife. I dislike the act of blowjobs unless I’m doing the deed on my terms. It must be a control issue…
Hah. I can’t believe I just admitted that.
June 1st, 2007 at 9:56 am
Thank God you didn’t blow him because then I would feel guilty for not blowing mine in a very long time. I also have a lot of respect for single parents. My hubby travels a lot. I feel like a single mom sometimes but at least I have someone who comes home to give me a break.
June 1st, 2007 at 10:49 am
Great Post! Great Blog!!
I will be back for more
-0-0-
June 1st, 2007 at 11:07 am
I’m with Janet……though I have felt like you when Mr. Mayhem has been away on trips!
I simply do not know how single parents do it…..I suppose it is because they have no other choice….but I could not!
Here’s to more frequent showers in your future!
( and less frequent BJ’s………hee-hee)
June 1st, 2007 at 11:32 am
I guess I’m not ever gone from home long enough to qualify for…well…anyway…
Glad he is home and all is well. Single parents amaze me with their ability to do it all.
June 1st, 2007 at 12:38 pm
The thought of my husband leaving me alone with my teo sends shivers down my spine!
June 1st, 2007 at 1:08 pm
June 1st, 2007 at 1:44 pm
I hate, hate, HATE it when the hubs is out of town. Life is so much harder!
June 1st, 2007 at 1:49 pm
ha ha ha!! That is hilarious – great post, Amie!
June 1st, 2007 at 3:21 pm
What if when you say he can do “anything” he says “I want a blowjob”
HaHa
Funny stuff
June 1st, 2007 at 5:57 pm
GOT TO GO WITH OPTION 1!!!! But what would you expect me to say?
June 1st, 2007 at 11:55 pm
I know how single parents do it… HARD!!! And I don’t mean anything naughty by that!!! I was on my own with 4 kids for 7 months before I met my 2nd husband, and I hate it when he goes away… it’s so hard! Know exactly how you felt… I can’t even stand him going away for 1 night! Hope he’s a happy hubby after his homecoming….
June 2nd, 2007 at 5:06 pm
What about spankings? Would you include spankings?
June 3rd, 2007 at 6:07 am
Spanking? Did Kevin just ask you to spank him??/
Glad you husband is home… 3 boy??? You are a brave, strong, strong,did I say STRONG? woman and I am so unworthy to read this blog….
June 3rd, 2007 at 10:20 pm
i love how you wrote this like a narrative..great piece…absence does make the heart grow fonder
June 4th, 2007 at 7:52 am
Amen – I couldn’t do it. The single parenting I mean. The blowjob…eh not so much but I’ll fork it over every so often.
June 4th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Welcome to my world as a single mom for 4 days every week.
And hubby makes MORE work for me when he’s here, not LESS.
Have some wine and let HIM pamper YOU!
June 4th, 2007 at 10:00 am
You know… there are just so many things to say to this, but I’ll stick to the safe stuff.
Single parents have a hard time of it, no question.
I was raised by a single mother. It sucked.
June 4th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Okay…note to self:
Do not let husband read this blog.
😉
June 5th, 2007 at 5:03 am
Three boys vs. one mom. Yikes! Glad you survived!
June 5th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
You are a good woman. The only thing between my lips upon my husband’s return would be the words “Your Turn!”
June 6th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Hahahahahahaha!