Cache directory "/home7/mammalov/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache" is not writable.Dear Small People in My Bed
Dear Small People* Who Climb into Bed with me at Night,
It sends warm fuzzy feelings directly to my heart just thinking about the fact that the most comforting thing to you is to sleep nestled up against me.
BUT, we must have some rules. Trust me, following these will come in handy later in life. I can’t get into the WHY now, but I promise. I’m your mom. Would I lie to you?
- Humans lie PARALLEL to each other in bed.
- Limbs are to remain still–even during dream state. Flinging and flailing of extremities is strictly prohibited.
- Wetting the bed is not appreciated—especially when you leave your co-sleeper with the wet spot to sleep in.
- All nails must be trimmed neatly. Drawing blood is highly frowned upon by most except for the random girls who read Twilight one too many times and really?? That trend will be tired by the time you’re old enough to understand what a freak your mom is for giving you these helpful hints for “co-sleeping.”
Love,
Mom**
*No! I’m not talking about THOSE little people, I finished with that phase back in ’97. Jeez, keep up!
**The same mom who worries weekly about the kind of mate you will make later in life, and winces just a little each day for the men or women who might have to live with your love of fart humor and inability to pee INTO the toilet.
June 11th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Can we add, with all heads lined up, to your first bullet?
I frequently find my child in bed between us, with her head at the foot and her feet in my face. Luckily, her feet don't smell…
June 11th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Oooh! Magpie. Good add.
June 11th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
I am going to post these rules by my pillow.
Once they can read this should really clear things up.
June 12th, 2009 at 6:43 am
PunditGirl doesn't know from parallel. So what good did it do to teach them the beginnings of geometric shapes this year! ;O
Seriously, sometimes it's like having an octopus in bed with me!
June 12th, 2009 at 7:40 am
THIS is why Declan is banished from our bed. I am a MEAN MOM.
June 12th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
I shared a bed with my niece one time. One time. Because after having her knee me nonstop and then end up perpendicular to my head with her feet on my chin, I decided never again.
June 15th, 2009 at 9:26 am
This post of yours? Awesome! Oh and the "please remain quiet while dreaming." And "if you have to ride your bike to get away from Darth Vader, who's chasing you with a cucumber in a dream, please still try not to move your feet in real life." We had to bannish the boy to his room. Even if only one of us slept in a queen size bed with him, he'd still kick and talk in his sleep.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
HILARIOUS. I love it.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:45 am
So this is what I have to look forward to?
June 24th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
My son forms the middle of the letter H when he sleeps between us (um, which is like never, for many obvious reasons). And no one likes the wet spot.
June 29th, 2009 at 7:07 am
Mamma loves
I wish as a mother in need which os also a mother indeed.
Mamma i love you remain intact
June 29th, 2009 at 7:09 am
great mamma's in the house always give the child the needed informatiom for him/her to grow with.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:54 am
G點,按摩棒,
轉珠按摩棒,變頻跳蛋,
跳蛋,無線跳蛋,
飛機杯,男用強精長軟質套,
男用強精短軟質套,充氣娃娃,
男性性感內褲,性感內褲,
自慰套,自慰套,
情趣娃娃,自慰器,
電動自慰器,充氣娃娃器,
角色扮演,角色扮演服,
性感睡衣,情趣睡衣,
性感內衣褲,性感內衣,
內衣,性感內褲,
C字褲,內褲,
性感貓裝,性感睡衣,
貓裝,吊帶襪,
情趣內褲,丁字褲,
SM道具,SM,
震動環,潤滑液,
情趣禮物,情趣玩具,
威而柔,精油,
逼真按摩棒,數位按摩棒,
加盟,免費加盟,
網路賺錢,情趣加盟,
情趣,情趣用品,巴黎,