There are times I want to talk to you.  Times I wonder how you are.  I want to call, but there is no number to dial.

You’re not there anymore–at least not in the way you used to be.

You are very much here in my thoughts, even in my dreams.  So I talk to you in my head, send words to you up through flames, let free my thoughts to the universe hoping one or two will find you in a warm, gentle breeze.

I wish I knew for sure you got them.

The new year may mean the beginning of a new business for me.

I know I can start it. Resources abound for getting it going. I’m pretty sure I can even get a client or two.

What is holding me back is fear of failure, fear of making a bad decision, fear of hitting a wall.

Intellectually, I know it takes hard work and trial and error to become a success. I already live with the regret of roads not taken for these same sorts of fears. The conflict inside is making me feel sea-sick.

I want to move forward. I think it’s a path I’m supposed to explore. I know the fears that are creeping in are the usual ghosts trying to sabotage my progress. I even know how to name them this time, and yet…

When my dog tries to jump on me, I turn around. I deny her attention and she gets the message quickly. Can I turn my back on these voices–the voices telling me I’ll never have the talent, the voices telling me I’ll never be more than a hack?

No way to know unless I try. And THAT? That is scary.