Day 38
Mood: Mellow

Well we have wonderful news tonight. There’s going to be a wedding!!! And we’re invited!

Day 8
Mood: Freaking Ecstatic!

In case you haven’t heard, there was an election yesterday. The people of my country–the very same people I had begun to suspect may indeed be zombies–finally said “we’ve had enough!”

I have spent the last 12 years feeling like an outsider, out of step with my fellow citizens, but today I have a renewed sense of optimism about the American electorate–about We, the People. However, before God Bless America begins blare from your speakers I need to get some stuff out of my system.

Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh, neh. WE FUCKING WON!!!!!

And it was so bad, so terribly, horribly, ferociously bad that you had to sacrifice one of your own this afternoon! Not that we’re surprised that you’d be willing to leave a man behind. What has come to light in the last year or so with DeLay and Ney and Cunningham and Macaca and your lie last week about keeping Rumy on board reaffirmed everything I knew to be true about you–you are not nice people. You have been hoarding power for your own gain. You do not love your country! And damn you, you suggested that because I didn’t agree with your war or your suspension of civil rights that I was the unpatriotic one. Well fuck you! You were wrong! And I’m starting to suspect you might be getting the hint. You know what that makes me say?

YEEEEHAAAAA!!!!!! I’m doing my happy dance all over your goddammed yard signs!!!

Phew! That felt good!

I wanted to come home to celebrate with a glass of champagne, but I was too damned superstitious to put a bottle in the fridge. As an alternative and in honor of the cleaning up of Congress, I got a bikini wax instead. I seriously think I was so deliriously happy that it hurt less than normal. So now you know, we’re all neat up here in DC.

Just in case that didn’t make you feel better, I leave you with some of the funnier election-related brilliance that crossed my screen today.

From the prego mom of two D’s to be I received:

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a Little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name. “Stanley,” responds the little boy. “And what is your question, Stanley?” “I have four questions:

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when half of all Americans don’t have health insurance?”

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right, question time. Who has a question?”Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name. “Steve,” he responds. “And what is your question, Steve?”

“Actually, I have six questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when half of all Americans don’t have health insurance?

Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?”

The always lovely Jay–studying his little tooshie off in GA–sent us this gem (trust me it’s worth the click).

And finally, our friend the former Minnehaha Mama, Jill provided us with this post this morning.

We’ve won the House for sure, the Senate is soon to follow and Rumsfeld is out. It’s like Christmas in November!

Day 7
Mood: Worried

Day 5
Mood: Rested and Ready

Okay, last week we started Merit Badge Day here at Mamma Loves… Every Sunday we invite readers to share with us the merit badge they earned this week.

PFunky had some techinical difficulties, so here is her’s and the others reported in last week.

Firetruck Voodoo Merit Badge: Won for getting my 2
1/2 year old son to take medicine for a very runny nose (that sent him home from nursery school) by telling him that the firemen take their medicine so they can ride the firetrucks. Since firetrucks are my son’s favorite things on the entire earth, it did the trick. In fact, I can get him to do many things as long as we talk about firetrucks along the way…

Oh, The Joys earned one for not getting malaria in Africa

and

One Weird Mother takes home the Bags Under My Eyes Badge. DST=toddler convinced that we should all get up for the day at 3am.

This week Mamma awards herself the Restraint in the Face of Temptation badge. Now this has nothing to do with keeping my hands out of the candy bowl or the kids bags on Halloween (or the day after, or the day after that)–though my jeans would fit much better if I had–but for not laughing directly AT my client who is worried about the outcome of the elections.

While I haven’t yet pronounced my political affiliation directly on this blog, I do think it’s pretty obvious from past posts. The elections are only two days away, so why not do it now?

I’m a Democrat. I work in DC. My first job here was working for a women’s health organization. The elections of 1994 were a heartbreak for me and especially my friends who worked on Capitol Hill. We watched the town we owned change over night. The bars we patronized were in the diverse neighborhoods of Adams Morgan and the U Street corridor. But after ’94, the new kids in power went to martini bars and smoked cigars in Georgetown {she says with a sneer}. It was sad.

ANYWAY, when my client–formerly a fundraiser for the Republican party–literally moped to me this week that the elections were going to be SOOOO bad, it took every ounce of willpower I had not to blurt out nah, nah, nah, nah heh heh and laugh maniacally. I kindly mentioned that I had lived through ’94 and I was sure he’d do the same. I then hung up and did a little jig in my office–though not a long or involved jig because I’m far too cynical not to think the Dem’s can’t still screw it up.

Whew! Sorry for getting on a roll–that happens sometimes.

Now it’s your turn. Let us know what badge you earned this week. If you don’t brag about yourself, who will?

Do you lock only your driver’s side door when you want to prevent your car from being stolen? Would you spend say $2k to $8k to put an alarm system that worked on that door only?