My first in-depth experience with Washington, DC was the summer I lived here and interned. My college roommate grew up here and had spent the spring semester at American University so she introduced me to a number of her friends. There was one guy in particular that I clicked with and we spent a good deal of our time together discovering the city. We didn’t date we were truly just friends.

We went back to our respective schools at the end of the summer and once back into our daily routines–and well we didn’t speak again–until we ran into each other the following summer at a tiny train station in the middle of nowhere in Spain and again six weeks later in Prague. We vowed that we wouldn’t lose touch this time.

So that fall, both having graduated, he called me from NY to see what I was up to. I had returned from my excursion and was living with my parents in FL and trying to figure out my next move. He mentioned he was moving back to DC with a friend and wondered if I wanted him to find an apartment that had a room for me too. “What the hell!” I replied, and before I knew it I was driving to DC with all of my possessions hoping I’d find a job.

We lived together for three years. We visited each other’s families, we developed our own traditions and we shared a dog. I loved him like a brother, but we began to grow apart. We moved into our own apartments. We started seriously dating people and we spoke less and less. I got married and got a son not much later and my life spun out of control. He moved back to NY and we haven’t spoken in almost 8 years.

Tonight I looked him up on Facebook.

Social media and social networking have made it possible for me to meet incredible people, share interesting ideas and waste time trash talking over the internet during boring meetings, but are these people my “friends?”

It depends when you ask me.

My gut response is yes, but I think back to the friendship I had with my DC roommate or with college friends or folks from high school or middle school even and I wonder if the same definition applies.

The internet has made it possible for us to communicate with people we never see. Through blog posts, through email, in less than 140 characters we share our thoughts, but does that mean that we are friends?

Last night I had drinks with five people I met online and one I have gotten to know better online. We talked easily. We enjoyed ourselves and some of us stayed way later than we should have, but can I say these folks are my friends? What do I really know about them? What do they know about me? Would they notice if I hopped off my social networks? Would they check in if I did?

What about those long-lost friends that you can reconnect with through Facebook or Classmates or any other network out there? Can you revive a friendship that was? Should you even bother? Clearly there were reasons you fell out of touch in the first place. Is it better to leave the past in the past?

I don’t have any answers tonight.

I’m just going to go outside and ponder this all.

It’s summer and I’m on a reading binge again. Our annual trip to the beach followed closely by a weekend of relative solitude (*gasp* imagine?) have given me the chance to get through a few titles at a much faster pace than regular life allows.

Right now I’m finishing up Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins and there are so many great passages/great lines that have made me stop to think about which books have spoken to me the most.

I subscribe to the belief that different books can mean different things to you depending on where you are in your life. Additionally, books can have varying impact on people reading them depending on the events going on in the world or the timing of the publication. For example, while I think On The Road must have been groundbreaking when it was written, I wasn’t as blown away by it having had the experience myself of traveling without a plan–which is a far more common experience today than it was in the Fifties.

This thinking about reading and “the classics” led me to wonder what books had most influenced others. (My favorite section in Newsweek is A Life In Books… the brief interview with an author and the list of the author’s favorite books and the book they felt was most overrated.) With trusty Twitter at my fingertips, I asked the following question to my Tweeps.

What book have you read, other than the bible, that has had the greatest impact on you?

Folks on Twitter (if you’re not on there, you should be) were tremendously forthcoming with titles–so much so that the following list will keep my reading for years. While 140 characters didn’t allow for much more than title and author, I did receive a few notes about why people had selected certain titles. I’m hoping that folks who contributed to the list (or others inspired by this post) might consider writing a post explaining why the book they listed had such an impact on them. I’m fascinated by these stories and am myself always looking for good recommendations.

Someone did come back to me wanting to know which book most influenced me and I do feel an obligation to share that information back. Unfortunately, I can’t point to one particular title that has had the most influence. I love books. I always have. Each on it’s own has affected me in one way or another. Do I have favorites? Absolutely. But even those that were difficult to get through have increased my love for words and added to my ability to think in words.

So without further ado, I give you…

Twitter Speaks: More Than 50 Books that Have Had an Affect on Us

Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald Mama Tulip

She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb Mama Tulip

I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb Send Chocolate & Mama Tulip

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides MamaTulip

Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck Karoli SoCalMom

Happy Hooker by Xaviera Hollander SoCalMom (you wouldn’t believe how it could scare a 14 y.o)

Lamb by Christopher Moore Anissa Mayhew

The Pact by Jodi Picoult Jodifur

19 Minutes Jodi Picoult Jodifur & Hip Mom

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith Jessabean

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee Whit & GraceD & Dooblehvay

A Heatbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers Whit

Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison Isabel Kallman

Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill Rumford

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott Flutter & Hip Mom

Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn NoirBettie

Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser Neilochka

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron Lola Goetz

The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger Devra

Foundation by Isaac Asimov YatPundit

Rebecca by Daphne DuMarier Casey Moosh in Indy

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby OpenBookJen

Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde Redneck Mommy

Leaves of Grass* by Walt Whitman Redneck Mommy

Lucky by Alice Sebold Flutter

A Separate Peace by John Knowles Samanthia & PunditMom

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxyby Douglas Adams Crunchy Carpets

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon Kiki Laughs it Off

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens Kiki Laughs it Off

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell Kiki Laughs it Off

The Witching Hour by Anne Rice Kiki Laughs it Off

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle Kiki Laughs it Off

Mullet Madness by Alan Henderson Undomestic Diva

Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera NOLANotes

A Sense of Honor by Jim Webb Gunfighter

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood Jodifur

Love and Other Impossible Pursuits by Ayelet Waldman Jodifur

The Princess Bride by William Goldman SueBob

A Course in Miracles SueBob

Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White Assertagirl

Intermediate Man John Locks tag

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou GraceD

Laura Ingalls Wilder books GraceD

Bias by Bernard Goldberg Kiss My Gumbo

Evidence of Harm by David Kirby To Think

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley SoCal Mom

1984 by George Orwell SoCal Mom

Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut SoCal Mom

Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien PaullYoung

A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn khylek

Death Be Not Proud by John J. Gunther Slouchy

Atonement by Ian McEwan Slouchy

Superior Women by Alice Adams CharmingDriver

If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino Linseyk

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard FairlyOddMother

The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen Cindy Fey

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie Mike Driehorst

Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner Pundit Mom

The French Lieutenant’s Woman by John Fowles Pundit Mom

Edited on 8/12/08 to add the following titles originally left off because, well, I’m just a dope.

The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell Julie Pippert

Children of God by Mary Doria Russell Julie Pippert

Bel Canto by Ann Patchett Julie Pippert

*This book of poetry was given the highest recommendation when Redneck Mommy explained that it virtually got her through the death of her son. It will be next on my list for a number of reasons and I will think of T’s beloved Bug as I soak up Whitman’s words. Thank you T for being willing to share him with us.