Mamma DOES NOT Love Mitt Romney today. Visit Pundit Mom’s site to find out why.

And yet again I’m sitting here contemplating the extreme altitude of my level of suckiness as a mother.

My kids are good kids–for the most part they are well-behaved, kind and funny. They listen to me often.

And then some days, over the simplest tasks, I am completely drawn up by my inability to negotiate a desired outcome.

Mr. 5 was in desperate need of hosing down this evening. I mean I can excuse a little dirt, but he was on the verge of being “the dirty kid” in his class. A shower or bath was in order. He agreed. All was fine.

And then the time to get wet and sudsy came, and he refused my proposition.

Now granted, this child probably can’t be held responsible for his skills in the ways of obstinance. Being adopted we’re not so sure of the genetics I brought to the table, but considering only the known players it would be entirely accurate to describe my son as the Vortex of Stubbornness.

Case in point–the flip flops.

On a lark a few years ago, I bought my then two and half year old a pair of flip flops from Old Navy for the Fourth of July. I had no idea at the time that he would wear those flip flops for the next 18 months to the exclusion of all other shoes. That is until I was required to purchase two new pairs in the next size. He decided to mix the new pairs and wear one army green flop and one red, white and blue flop for the next twelve months after that. And god forbid I try to bring him the other set of mates. THOSE were not his flops.

But you live in Virginia Mamma, don’t you? I can hear you saying that now. Yes we do. And it does get cold here in the winter (for at least a week or two).

You most certainly didn’t let him out of the house in flops in the cold weather, did you Mamma? Listen kids, tonight isn’t the first time I’ve decided I suck as a parent. But no, I didn’t let him go out in flops. I had to buy him slip-on rubber sandals that looked like Birkenstocks (pre-Crocs days) so he could at least have socks on under the sandals.

Sheesh! I may take a certain amount of joy in the fact that my son asserts his individuality through the wearing of two different flip flops, but I will not allow his toes to freeze. I mean how would he get a date in high school if he didn’t have any toes?!

Now there was one little snow storm we had during one of the “flop winters.” Mother Nature treated us to eight inches of the lovely white stuff. School was cancelled, we stayed home from work (it is Virginia after all) and we ran to the closets and pulled boxes out from under the beds in search of our snow clothes.

And then I pulled out the boots for Mr. Stubborn.

Oh no! He was not going to wear those boots. They covered his toes for christ sake!

And so the rest of the family trudged out in the snow to frolic and Mr. Stubborn stood at the kitchen door watching us have our fun–with tears streaking down his face. I offered him the boots. He wanted to come out. But he was not about to cover his toes with SHOES.

And so he missed playing in the one decent snow fall we’d had in a long while.

Anyway…

Tonight the Vortex raised its ugly head. He was not going to bathe. He didn’t want to go to bed. And that was that. I tried to reason with him. I tried to be tough. I left him alone for a few minutes. I counted to five. I gave him options. I started the shower. I turned off the shower.

I failed.

And then the hubs went upstairs. And I heard the water come on. And then a chipper little guy came downstairs all clean and shiny.

Fucking husband! Parenting guru freak!

From their website:

A number of years ago my sister-in-law got me hooked on a horrible reality TV show.

I had never been drawn to reality TV. Sure I watched the first season of Survivor, but other than that I’d never been able to participate in the conversations about…

…see I don’t even know who the big reality people are.

But Paradise Hotel?!

I couldn’t miss an episode.

It came down to the final show. There were two couples left and I had opinions about who I hoped would win. WTF?? I locked myself in my room, not to be disturbed by ANYONE for that final hour. Twenty minutes in…

MY CABLE WENT OUT!!!

No bad weather. No power outage. It just went out!

I was forced to read about it the next day online.

So anticlimactic.

I vowed never to watch another reality show again. I had been burned.

And then I saw the ads last week. Too hot for Fox! It’s back!

Paradise Hotel 2

And I watched it tonight. And I loved it again.

What is wrong with me??

Don’t answer that.

Coke–Frist and Carville. As a political girl I’m interested. Good, but what does the rest of America think? Do just us DC geeks get it??

Black Dog–Gatorade. I was thirsty when it was done.

Bud Light–Will Ferrell Will in shorts just makes me laugh.

NFL ad with Pitts–very good ad. Kept my attention.

Nationwide–aren’t they known for good ads? That was pretty boring.

Wachovia–again…it’s the Super Bowl. Isn’t this the time to pull out all the stops?

Madonna got $10 million for lifecantwait.com? Of course I have to check out the site. I think it’s for deodorant or shampoo. Aren’t you supposed to know what the ad is for??

Coke–Macy’s balloons. Go Charile!!!!

Salesgenie.com–I think I might be offended by that ad, but I’m not sure yet.

Shaq on a horse?? I don’t care what this is an ad for, booger-picking kids and Shaq on a horse?? I love it!! Ah Vitamin Water. That was good.

Bud Light Cavemen–eh…it got a chuckle

Carmen Electra–Ice Breakers gum. whatever.

Alice Cooper and a snake. Richard Simmons. Bridgstone Tires? That’s Faaantastic!! Got my attention.

McDonalds–beat box? Have you noticed the retro theme of this year’s ads? The Geico Thriller nod, the Pepsi SNL nod. And now beat boxing??

Barak Obama–I was wondering if the candidates would buy ad space.

Where is Justin??

Zantac–if it would make me skinny and less wrikle-y, I’d take it. But again, what’s with the boring ads?

Claritin–dude, how big are your teeth?

Okay, is it me or is Tom starting to look like Bob Dylan?

But I love American Girl. Great song to lead with.

How are they going to get all the fans back to their seats that they allowed onto the field??

Geico Cavemen–held my attention, but no good punchline

Acura MDX–BO-RING Give me something good. It’s the Super Bowl

Comcast–I would have never been able to keep a straight face while filming that. As a mother of sons, I can’t wait till the day I can freak them out like that. If kids aren’t for hazing, what good are they??

Does Howie Long have hair plugs??

American Idol–What’s with all the Simon Cowell winking–and chest hair??