Most of you are just waking up.

I’m still wearing the same clothes I put on after my shower yesterday morning. I couldn’t sleep last night.

A bunch of good friends came over last night. I had a little get together. I didn’t stress about it. I didn’t freak out about the way my house looked. I didn’t even worry about the food. Everything came together just fine. People arrived. We laughed. We had great conversations. New friendships were formed. It was a fantastic evening.

I checked my Blackberry after everyone left. I like to look at my calendar for the next day before I go to bed–to make sure I didn’t forget anything.

There were six missed calls on my phone.

I wasn’t able to get back in touch with the callers. It was late. But, I was able to get a little information. The thing is my parents were already in bed.

The news could wait until morning.

My mom could have one more peaceful night’s sleep before we start the whole routine all over again.

We’ve done this so many times before.

I’m just not used to my new role as the one who breaks the news.

And the fact that I’m not there to support them…I think that’s even harder.

Facebook has tried to keep the fact under wraps since early 2008, but today fabulously famous blogger MammaLoves (aka Amie Adams) revealed the truth.

“I was ignoring my family. I was wearing dirty clothes. I couldn’t get enough. My life was falling apart! It wasn’t until my dog licked the computer screen showing Facebook and I noticed her madly dash in circles chasing her tail did I realize drugs were involved.”

Ms. Adams accuses Facebook of including games like Bejeweled Blitz and Pathwords on its site as a cover to emit crack fumes therefore rendering users unable to click off of the site.

Facebook sources refuse to comment on Ms. Adams’ accusations, but say Facebook works hard to promote a clean and healthy environment for its users as evidenced by their diligent effort to prevent photos of mothers nursing babies from soiling their pages.

The dog was quoted as saying, “dude.”

Rick and George* were quite the stoners in high school.

Both great guys, they were pretty easy-going–you know the weed and all–friendly, quick to laugh–again with the weed–fun–even without the weed (I mean I think I saw them when they weren’t stoned)–bright–despite the weed–athletic–and that’s tough with the weed–and they were friends of mine.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that George and Rick smoked a little dope back in the 80’s.

Tonight I spoke to George for the first time in ten years. With what I assume was a completely straight face, he told me about a recent conversation he had with Rick.

Apparently, Rick was experiencing a dilemma and needed some advice. Rick wanted to know if George thought it would be okay to let his 13 y.o. son go see Clerks 2.

Let me paint this for you in a slightly different way.

Bill and Ted have kids of their own and consult with each other on how best to raise them.

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.