I have Stevie Wonder coursing through head. Granted I’ve changed the words a bit, but sing with me.

Isn’t he lovely? Isn’t he wonderful?
Isn’t he precious? More than thirty years old.
I never knew through blogging I’d be
Reading someone as lovely as he
But isn’t he lovely the one who blogs with love.

And who is this man? Why the amazing Kevin Charnas of course!

I nominated this post by Kevin for the April Perfect Post award. Honestly, there were a few more that followed that could have easily been nominated as well, but I’m impulsive and sent in my nomination the minute I read it. There were also these posts in April too.

Please take some time to go visit Kevin and read much more than this post. He is alternately the funniest, snarkiest, most sensitive and large-hearted person around. Oh, and I think he’s okay too.

I have read plenty of complaints about Blogger. Until this week, I personally have been very happy with my service–being that it’s free and all, but now I join the ranks of the disgruntled.

For some reason, it seems folks who view my blog through certain readers cannot view any of the text. The same thing happens when I try to access specific posts through the Blogger dashboard.

I’ve tried a few things to rectify the issue, but so far nothing has worked. The particularly frustrating part is that I went to the Blogger Help group and have had no replies either.

I’m pretty sure this all started when I signed up for a feedburner account. I’ve since deactivated it and removed the code from my blog, but it is still happening. I’m hoping that publishing a new post might help. Or that some wonderful reader may know a trick to fix this.

Would you do me a favor and let me know what reader you use or how access this blog. That way I can try to rule things out.

thanks!!

Okay, can you guys just stop posting for a bit? Little league season has started and I have two playing this year (on different teams), so I can’t keep up.

When I do try I get so involved with reading blogs that I’m too tired to post here.

To be honest with you, I think I’ve run out of things to say. I feel like if I can’t make you laugh like her or cry like she does or rant like this one or give you beauty like this, well then what’s the point?

So in the meantime I’ll share with you the few thoughts/questions bumpin’ around in my brain. I had five hours in the car yesterday traveling to and from an hour and a half meeting to consider some of this.

1. I love the term attorneys general. Pluralizing the word attorney rather than general is a fun surprise.

2. One of my favorite words is efficacy. Not for it’s meaning, but because it’s fun to say. Try it. EFF-I-CA-CY. Fun huh?

3. My Blackberry Texas Hold ‘Em addiction is rearing its ugly head again. I’m such a risk-taker betting large sums of pretend money against a computer.

4. Did you know the State of Maryland has no natural lakes? All that exist are the result of river damming. Yeah, me either. (Thank you NPR)

5. I had to cros the Mason-Dixon line to get to my meeting. Why are there MORE country music stations North of the line?

6. Passed a tattoo parlor in the middle of nowhere. Wanted to stop on my way home to get me some ink, but I couldn’t decide on a design. I wanted to get something to commemorate being a mother, but not something cliche. I know, I know, getting a tattoo because you’re starting to feel old is a cliche, but I don’t care. Any designers out there want to throw me a design? I have three boys and three strong women who inspire me. I was leaning toward some sort of oak tree/acorn thing, but I could change my mind tomorrow (especially if you send me a good design–hint hint).

7. If porn stars get hemorrhoids are their careers done? You can’t airbrush them out of an entire video.

What do Gail and toothpaste have in common? Not much that I know of though I’m willing to bet that Gail uses it regularly. She’s clean that way. But I need to talk about both of these things today.

First Gail.

A big thanks to everyone who has said hi. I’m sorry if I confused anyone. Gail doesn’t have a blog (yet), but I’m trying to get her to start one. It would be filled with LOTS of juicy gossip I promise you. She just sent me some good stuff about my highschool friemesis. Heh.

Requests were made for a good Gail story. Unfortunately I don’t have specific story to tell, but rather an effect to report. First you must understand that Mamma’s Mamma is a bit of a goodie-goodie. She never smoked cigarettes, she never did drugs–except that one time she says my aunt made “marijuana cookies” and “you know how I just can’t resist cookies. But I don’t see what all the hype is. I just felt sleepy.” Yep. That’s my mom. She does enjoy her one martini a day, but she’s not a big drinker either.

Unless she’s out with Gail.

Mom, Gail and their two friends have labeled themselves the Fab Four. They get together once a month or so for a girl’s night out (I’m sure this was Gail’s idea). Now you see I have Gail to thank for loosening my Mamma up.

I called down to say hi during their annual girl’s weekend and what did I find? My mamma giggling her ass off. Apparently the girls had been drinking for quite some time and Gail had just whipped out the cigars (and Gail if it wasn’t you–don’t burst my bubble now). My mamma (remember goodie-goodie girl?) started smoking a CIGAR!

So how can I not love a woman who can get the goodie-goodie girl to be bad? Ah, a true mentor!

As for the toothpaste…

There are many uses for toothpaste. There’s, well, cleaning your teeth. And yet, there is so much more. According to the folks over at ThriftyFun.com you can use it for fixing DVDs, cleaning your jewelry and clearing up acne. It also works well as spackle and for hanging posters.

There is one thing though I’m pretty sure toothpaste should not be used near, and that my friends is your clitoris. Yep, I said it.

I’m not sure, poor Google searcher, how the terms “clitoris and toothpaste” led you to me, but if you want my opinion on the matter here it is.

Don’t come near my nethers with toothpaste!

I understand that you may be looking for a cheap way to accomplish this, but please listen to Gloria Brame (and she’s a sex therapist, you know) “I HATED IT- burn, burn, burn.”

That is all I have to say about that.

What Kind of Cake Are You?I know these are silly. But hey, if you're red" data-image="http://images.blogthings.com/whatkindofcakeareyouquiz/velvet-cake.jpg" data-button="none">

You Are a Red Velvet Cake

Rich, decadent, and sensual.You have a deep appeal that transcends all trends.You are the definition of passion: intense, adventurous, and seductive.

I know these are silly. But hey, if you’re red velvet you gotta tell the world.

One of the most loyal readers here at Mamma Loves…is Mamma’s Mamma’s best friend. Rarely a day goes by that she doesn’t stop by to see if I’ve added anything new. And if she doesn’t find anything in the morning she’ll stop by a few more times during the day to see if I got my act together to put some words to the page.

When I’m at a loss for something interesting about which to write (cause lord knows nothing is that interesting to read) I experience Gail Guilt. I just know she’s going to be bummed when I haven’t left her anything new.

So despite the fact I still have nothing that really feels worth sharing, my Gail Guilt is too great.

Please, say hey to Gail! I’m pretty sure if you do she’ll check out your blogs too.

Now if I could just come up with some really juicy gossip that would make her happy. Honestly though, she’s the one who has it all.

Hi Gail!! Thanks for reading!

Dear Sun,

I know you’ve been feeling kinda big, but really you don’t need to hide. I think you’re beautiful just the way you are. Don’t worry about the roundness of your ass. I know that’s not what they’re showing in all the magazines this season, but frankly, it makes me hot…and sweaty.

You have no idea how gorgeous I think you are. I could bask in your naked glory all day. I fantasize about it every night. Your rays make me tingle and feel all happy. I love when you use them to touch every part of my skin. It feels so warm and so goooood.

So please! Take off the clouds. Turn on the lights. I want to experience all of you.

Who cares what all those stars are saying. They’re just burnouts anyway.

Love,
Mamma

I thought about other things to write about today, but I can’t.

I’m not a Wahoo. I’m not a Hokie. But I am raising my children in Virginia. They attend school in the same district as some of the students who were killed…the same district as the gunman.

I held those beautiful boys of mine extra tight last night. I hugged them longer. I took in their smell. I felt the softness of their skin. I tried to imprint it all on my memory.

Because what if? What if those were my children? Would I remember it all? Could I hold on to it?

What would I do if I were those parents?

It’s horrifying.

I grieve for the families of everyone involved. And yes, especially for the family of the troubled young man who lost his grip reality yesterday.

My heart especially aches for that young man who was obviously very, very troubled. I am sorry that he didn’t find help. I can’t imagine what it was that brought him to his actions. I in no way condone or excuse them, but I hurt to think that someone was so troubled and felt there was no other way out. His family will need extra prayers.

There are many other people sharing their feelings about yesterday’s events. Kevin, Jessica and Joy all brought tears to my eyes. I’m sure there will be more. As I know there will be more hugs and more kisses for the ones I love.

My heart is breaking with each new set of details that emerge from Blacksburg, VA. Now the reports are up to 31 dead. As a parent, knowing my children are in a classroom has always provided me with a feeling of security.

I am sending my prayers to the parents, children and family of those killed or injured.

This is dreadful.